Cemetery of Dead Dreams (Scroll Down to Recent Burials and a few that Were Refused Entrance)
Greetings Dead Dreamers
Welcome to the Cemetery of Dead Dreams, where we will invite people of all races, creeds, colors and age groups to release the pain, horror, and obsessive thought patterns that keep one stuck and/or focused on all the stuff of life that DIDN’T pan out.
This is a new site, and our lovely cemetery page is still under construction. But just so you know, we intend to lay it out like a real cemetery, so visitors can wander around and view the plots. And just as live cemeteries have sections for various groups—Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Masons, Rich, Poor (yes, segregation and economic inequities happen even in displaying death)—our virtual cemetery will have special sections. Consider ridding yourself of pain in the following categories, or create your own!
• Economic Security
• The Perfect Family
• The Perfect Figure
• Hillary or McCain ‘08
• Make up your own!
You are also encouraged to bury any negative personality traits that may be preventing you from realizing a dream that is not dead. Consider chucking some of the following bad attitudes…
• Fear of success/failure
• Delusions of grandeur
• Self Doubt
• Whining and Complaining
• Risk aversion
Travel to our Dead Dream Submission Form and let that dead dream go! It will create room for something much more exciting to appear.
Rest in Peace,
2008 Dead Dream Burials…
It’s New Years Eve: See What People Are Leaving Behind in 2008
We’ve got the sad, the sexy, the literary and, of course…
…death by financial ruin.
We are having a mass burial this evening, in the last moments of 2008. Over the holidays my morgue has grown crowded with the dead dreams and dashed hopes of brave souls who decided they were ready to release what was not working so they can now leap into 2009 unencumbered.
For those of you who buried a dead dream because a newer one already wants to emerge, Cemetery Mary applauds you and suggests you spend the next week cleaning out any excess garbage in your home, computer, garage, basement, and for the love of God, get rid of the storage units. For those of you wanting to marinate in your misery awhile? Grieve with gusto because if there is one thing I know, it’s that all that writhing in pain can help bust you out of the rut you are stuck in.
Please note: I am unable to contain myself and have left comments and given advice at many of the burial sites. These are purely for entertainment purposes. In other words, if you take my advice, and your life gets screwed up, I claim no responsibility.
Remember, dreams never really die. They are simply transformed into the compost we need to strengthen and fortify ourselves as we move into life’s next adventure.
Happy New Year.
May we all rest in peace and harmony.
Woman Buries Her Business
Cemetery Mary Names Her Girl Most Likely to Succeed
Dead Dream: My career, business, and possibly my home.
Cause of Death: The Year 2008 and George Bush’s Short Sightedness
Eulogy: I love my life. I’ll likely lose my home in 2009, and my business is tanking as I write this. But I truly love my life. I am free of a man who hated me and said so in front of my children; who daily took the opportunity to tell me I would fail at my marriage, my life, and my goals. He decided to chase a woman he met in China instead of healing his family. I took the chance on my children and myself to step into an uncertain future. I succeeded for a while—now that is a joyous feeling. A little strength. A little courage. A little ballsiness. Today, in this economy, I hope my youngest will get to graduate from the “safe” high school I took him to as I tore my daughter from the friends (the drinking ones) she’d grown to love. I learned over the last 12 years that nothing is solid. Not the promise my husband made, not the jobs, not the hope, not the faith. It is all in my hands. I love that, I love my life. To move into tomorrow, a day I have no expectation for, is to know that I have every chance to succeed again.
Three Things Gained In the Process: Success, Joy, Wonder
How I Can Help Others: Talk, Counsel, Discuss
State of Mind: I have a new dream!
Cemetery Mary felt lifted reading about your dead dream, good woman. Seems like you’re a gal who already knows how to transform life’s crap into compost, thus I’ve just upgraded your nickname to “Girl Most Likely To Succeed Again and Again and Again”. What is success anyway, if not a good attitude in the face of seemingly shitty circumstances? Your homework for 2009 is to have a wild love affair with yourself. Make a list of at lease five ridiculously racy, life affirming activities, and use some of that time off you may be forced to have to tickle your own fancy. Feel free to report back to us at Easter, when I predict you might be having your own personal resurrection.
Husband Buries Fantasy of a Sexy Threesome
Dead Dream: Ménage à trois
Cause of Death: Marriage
Eulogy: Ever since I was in college I always wanted to have sex with two women at the same time. Unfortunately, I got married and was unable to fulfill this dream.
Negative Personality Traits to Bury With Dream: Whining and Complaining
Three Things Gained: A wife, monotony, children.
How I Can Help Others: Advise them not to put off having a threesome. Do it, or else you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.
State of Mind: My dream is dead, and I want to marinate in my misery.
Oh darling whiner and complainer who thinks he must be miserable…I know you are simply burying a dream, not asking for advice, however, Cemetery Mary just wants to inquire whether you have ever shared this lovely little fantasy with your wife? I’m not saying that the woman you love would leap at the chance to share you with another, or even offer to pay your way at the Mustang Ranch… it’s just perhaps she can indulge the fantasy just a wee bit – do some quick outfit changes, throw her voice across the room, use an accent for certain moves and moans. I mean…most women I know can multitask like nobody’s business. And, ahem, perhaps by opening the door to discussing this supposed dead dream of yours, she might be able to chime in with a few of her own kinky desires? They may involve watching three men cook, clean, and care for the kids while she reads a novel, but still… Is there room for a little give and take here? Monotony gets, well, monotonous for all involved and sometimes giving each other a little room to explore a fantasy, even in conversation, can be quite exciting.
Movie Star Magic
Dead Dream Category: Movie Stardom
Excuse: My father poured so much negative energy onto it that it keeled over and died.
Cause of Death: Lack of Support
Eulogy: I spent five years pouring my father’s money and then my own (when I finally started earning some) into being a famous movie star. But most importantly, I gave up being around smart and respectful people and instead, languished in L.A. with deadbeat thirty-year-old commitment phobic Peter Pans who made me believe I was unlovable. I had to pretend I was an uneducated teenager and withstand sexist jerks talking down to me in order to book jobs, even though I was a prodigy who graduated Harvard at the age of 20. The worst part is that I did all right for myself but it just wasn’t enough.
Negative Personality Traits to Bury With Dream: Fear of success/failure, bitterness, whining and complaining.
Three Things Gained: 1) One of the best life resumes out of anyone I know. 2) the chance to see SOME of my childhood dreams come through, including being on billboards and in commercials. 3) Some tips from professional makeup artists.
How I Can Help Others: Advise them to go for the dream, and if you only achieve part of it, know that that’s already better than most. It’s worth it.
State of Mind: I have a new dream!
Thank you Movie Star Magic, because it seems as if you’ve done so well for yourself! I don’t know how old you are, but there is a statute of limitations on how long you can blame your parents for any failures (I think it’s up until age 30, after which it becomes a crutch). But by my calculations, I think you are still within the guidelines. What is clear to me though, is that you know how to be a star, so I wish you well as you continue to shine brightly in whatever it is you do.
Does The Perfect Job Even Exist?
Dead Dream: The Perfect Job.
Cause of Death: Needing to make a living.
Eulogy: I took classes in “right livelihood,” read What Color Is Your Parachute several times, read self help books (The Secret wasn’t around at that time!). More workshops, writing exercises, informational interviews, volunteer work at career centers, therapy to deal with discouragement, impatience, plummeting self esteem, comparing myself to anyone who seemed to have a perfect job and always coming up short. I never got that perfect job doing what I loved and getting paid lots of money for it. However, I did get a job that was pretty good where I loved the people I worked with. Maybe in some way – that was the perfect job. Who knows? But realizing I needed to make money, I took a less than perfect job, and still did what I loved outside the job. Now that I’m getting ready to retire, I’m glad I stayed at this less than perfect job. I have benefits and will soon have more time to do what I love.
Three Things Gained: A realization of my sense of determination, how I was willing to do whatever was necessary, and how I developed and implemented a plan and in the process learned a lot about myself.
How I Can Help Others: Advise them not to hold on so tightly – just enough to keep going and be open to it turning out in a way you hadn’t planned – which may in the end be a better way.
State of Mind: I have a new dream!
Dammit, Why Can’t I Be the Next Ray Bradbury?
Dead Dream: Being Discovered as the Next Great Science Fiction Author
Dream Category: Economic Security
Did You Give It Your Best Shot?: No
Excuse: But…but they were supposed to beat down my door!
Cause of Death: Neglect
Eulogy: You were a dream, a dozen failed starts, and then you were born an ugly mess one rainy November in 2003. We fought for two long years, I cried and cursed you as much as I loved you. But, in the end, I didn’t step into the light with you in my arms and proclaim, “Here is my passion, my raison d’etre!” Loved by few, never known by most. You didn’t even whimper when you fluttered into nothingness.
Negative Personality Traits to Bury With Dream: Fear of success/failure, laziness, procrastination, delusions of grandeur, worry, self doubt, whining and complaining, risk aversion.
Three Things Gained: I learned I could complete a goal, I learned I could compose a damned good story, and I learned that art is passion, and passion requires risk-taking.
Help Others: Pick anything you know little to nothing about, especially something that causes emotional paralysis. Force yourself to become good at it, no matter how hard. Grit your teeth, sit down, and get it done. Small successes tend to snowball into bigger ones.
State of Mind: My dream is dead, but I’m willing to move on.
To my fellow writer and now official cemetery citizen, if you manage to kill all of those negative personality traits and keep them buried, then Oprah should give you your own talk show. Then you can really promote your work. Meanwhile, while we are all waiting for someone to discover us, I say we launch into 2009 with a commitment to having some fun discovering ourselves, eh?
PS: Cemetery Mary wants to alert science fiction readers and anyone able to discover science fiction writers, to learn about this cool author at www.dometrilogy.com. Perhaps her dream will be resurrected.
Burial of the First Love
Dead Dream: Survival of my first love.
Did You Give It Your Best Shot?: Yes
Cause of Death: Time
Eulogy: There was a time when it was perfect, really. Alas, perfection is circumstantial, and the temperamental nature of everything was overwhelming for me. I guess anyone who is curious enough to be worthwhile will eventually disregard that whole “love at first sight” thing. Nonetheless, letting go was hard, to say the least. Anyone curious enough to be worthwhile will eventually ask, “what if?” The dream isn’t dead; I never accurately understood its implications in the first place. Anyone sensitive enough to be worthwhile should be afraid, but then again, if I’m worth anyone’s time at all, I need to earn it. That kind of love is infinite, I think. However, the manifestation of that love, as I had originally imagined it to be, is ready to be buried.
Negative Personality Traits: Fear of success/failure
What Was Gained: The most important moments of my life to date.
How Can I Help Others: I’m not sure yet.
State of Mind: My dream is dead, but I’m willing to move on.
What a beautiful, poetic eulogy to your first love. As is often the case with poetry, I’m not sure I really understood it all, except the part that notes that love—the real deal, the unconditional kind where you want nothing in return—never dies. So I accept your burial of how you thought this first love should manifest, and give thanks that you will keep hold of your own, infinite capacity to give and receive pure love, dear poet. You can take that into 2009, where I expect great, new, and exciting changes to enter now that you’ve made new space for them.
An Unpublished Poet’s Lament
Dead Dream: My escape
Did You Give It Your Best Shot: Yes
Cause of Death: Life on hold
Like wandering spirits in the night
They band together, old and young.
With broken sticks and broken dreams,
They build their fires and fill their lungs.
They chant in chorus to the flames all the poems that went unsung.
The words they thought would never die have turned to ashes on their tongues. Victimized by unseen critics, their works were culled and left undone, but for tonight they write again,
Unpublished Poets, everyone.
Once again, Cemetery Mary doesn’t always understand the poet or the poetry, nor does she need to to enjoy it. Though I don’t know what you were trying to escape from, Poet Man, I do love the message in the eulogy. Your dead poems are always welcome here in the Cemetery of Dead Dreams.
Man Kills Idea That Money Will Bring Happiness
Dead Dream: Working just for money is enough.
Dream Category: Economic security.
Cause of Death: Wisdom, insight, and understanding.
Eulogy: I realize that I’ve worked for money, maybe for some experience, but finally it’s getting clear that I won’t experience any joy from work that I really don’t like—no matter how much I get paid.
Negative Personality Trait to Bury with Dream: Depression
Three Things Gained: Money, friends, right thoughts
Help Others: Don’t press yourself to do things if they don’t give you any joy.
State of Mind: I have a new dream
A Dead Dream From Money Honey Wannabee
Dead Dream: The Bubble Burst
Dream Category: Careers/Businesses
Money Honey Wannabe said she gave it her best shot, but claims she lacked the confidence to have it all. DO YOU THINK SHE LACKS CONFIDENCE? Here is her eulogy:
I was always into money for some reason, even as a kid when I would play make believe business games. I always beat all my childhood friends at poker- and we played for real money! Maybe it’s because we didn’t get a lot of extras growing up and I always wanted the extras…new clothes especially. I would sneak into my sister’s closets and wear their clothes –boy would hell break loose if I got caught! But I always wanted more.
As I got older I had this vision of myself as a gorgeous suited up…not a man’s suit with a bow tie blouse, but one of those sexy all black suits that fits the female curves like a glove…high heeled pumps—like Christian Louboutin, swept back gorgeous hair …walking down Wall Street in New York City. A successful female investment banker—that was my vision. Powerful, sexy, rich, cultured and famous, cover of Business Week stuff. Well, for one reason or other this didn’t happen. Probably because I didn’t believe in myself enough coupled with the fact that I didn’t go to business school – which I should have! Anyway, I had an entirely different business career for many years that was successful in its own way. I am now in financial services and actually love my career. And, I have learned that those greedy investment bankers don’t really add value to anyone’s pocketbooks but their own and wreak all kinds of damage on our financial system. I actually help people! So things work out for the best…but sometimes still New York is where I’d rawther be…..
Giving Up These Negative Personality Traits: Fear of success/failure
Three Things Gained: Guts, enjoyment of success, Compassion
How Can I Help Others: Remind them to dream big but don’t kick yourself if reality is a bit smaller
Current State of Mind: I have a new dream!
Proposition 8 — Soon to be the Dead Dream
From Happy to see so many people worked up….
At first I was devastated that a country that finally realized one of Martin Luther King’s dream for equality by electing a black President, could also produce a proposition to make it unconstitutional for loving couples to marry just because they have a different sexual preference than the majority. But alas, it has fueled so many people of all races, religions, and ages to take a look at our values about love, tolerance, equality and fairness. You can bet I’ll be attending the dead dream funeral and putting Proposition 8 in the coffin. It’s going to be great compost for the collective consciousness to grow in love and acceptance–something this world needs a lot more of. Let all the voices be heard from all sides, no matter how ugly. I will only listen to the ones that inspire unity and acceptance. Easy choice.
I Wanted to Be A Mother of the Year
A dead dream from Everyone’s Favorite Auntie
My entire life, all I wanted was to have the experience of giving birth to my own children. But when I developed endometriosis, my dream was over. I had forever lost the opportunity to watch my children become successful adults-or not- because of a disease that was only given to me by chance. I would have loved to be a soccer mom, watch my child’s first step, hear my child’s first word, watch him graduate with tears in my eyes. I wanted to see my child walk down the aisle in her long white dress or wait at the front of the church with joy in his heart. And most of all, I miss being a grandmother.
What did I gain from this loss?
Great relationships with my nieces and nephews, time for amazing, exotic travel on every continent, and more than enough money for myself. I am as close to my great niece as any grandmother to grandchild. And I am living proof that you can you can become a favorite aunt by giving the parents a break, and then giving those kids back when they get on your nerves.
Hillary, OH, Hillary!
A dead dream from a suffering suffragette
Oh, Cemetery Mary, I have already buried so many of my dreams. U.S. Olympic Volleyball team, partnership in a law firm, three failed adoptions, a daughter of any kind, the perfect body – an hour long orgasm….but I digress.
How do I bury Hillary while she is still alive? Or is it the dream of a woman president in my life time that I must bury? Or is it the women friendships that I have lost or damaged due to the betrayal I left when they chose Obama over my dear Hillary, that I must bury? Well, if Mary can bury Family Plots – one of the best reads ever – then I too must be able to bury my dream-of Hillary’s Presidency in 2008. There, I said it. And not without bitterness. I want to be funny, like Mary, but I can’t. Life is not fair, of course. Still, it is the bullsh-t I find more difficult to bear than the injustice. When one woman, qualified and brave, wounded and still fighting, is forced to the ground-I despair. So Mary, you are my Hillary. This is not fair. This is bullsh-t. When will people open their eyes and see things as they really are? Your novel was and is FANTASATIC!! Probably something that will be discovered after our deaths, as Hillary’s great value will be discovered only after hers? Go figure?
Giving Up Procrastination to Obtain the Perfect Figure
New Dawn Buries the Obstacle to Her Dream
Since childhood I have struggled with my perfect weight. After living longer than I want to mention, the struggle got even harder. I started to believe it would be impossible to release this unwanted weight. Then, I witnessed my husband do what I couldn’t. Now, I know it IS POSSIBLE! (If he can do it, New Dawn can do it!) So, goodbye to failure and hello to success. I can do it and I will. “Impossible must be laid to rest!” By killing off my procrastination, I have gained knowledge, understanding and smaller dress sizes.
Going Mainstream With My Novel
Instead, I Get to Put the Fun Back Into Funerals AND Publish
A dead dream from Cemetery Mary…
Just wanted to say, that as wrecked as I was to get sixteen rejection letters, planning the funeral for my dead dream of mainstream publishing has been more fun than any aspect of the creative process thus far. This experience makes me a huge proponent of “putting the fun back into funerals.” Not by making light of the dead, but by acknowledging that grief and loss are our constant companions and we have to find a release. In the moment that I decided to let my dream die, bury it completely, I felt more empowered than I had throughout the entire publishing process. What am I really burying, after all? Not my book. Not the seven years of work. Not even the subject matter (which included my beloved dead husband and his family). All I’m burying is the idea that I can’t have my dream without getting outside approval from some publishers. By deciding to let my dream die, it seems I’ve given it new life. I get to publish my book, have a campy book launch party, and this time not care about how it turns out or what the acquisition editors in New York have to say. Not to leave them out. I have invited each of my rejecters to serve as a pallbearer. (Some loved it, some didn’t take it well. Tee hee.) And the best part of launching a book at its own funeral is that good manners will preclude anyone from criticizing it. After all, it’s rude to speak ill of the dead.
BURIAL REFUSALS AND CHEAP ADVICE TO FOLLOW…
Welcome to the cemetery of dead dreams, where once in awhile, Cemetery Mary has to refuse entrance and instead offer unsolicited advice to my clients. Note the fresh attempts at burials below, and see if you don’t agree with me as to whether these lovelies should be allowed entrance.
Rest in peace but don’t ever kill yourself to do that,
MISTRESS OF LIARS
Name of Dead Dream: Snoopy
Dream Category: Relationships/Marriages
Did You Give It Your Best Shot: Yes
Cause of Death: Lying cheating asshole
Eulogy: I did everything he wanted. I gave it my all. He could sleep in the cage, eat off the floor, and go out with his collar on. Have sex with others. All I required was honesty. He failed.
Negative Personality Traits to Dump: Bitterness
Three Things Gained in Experience: None. I think ill just kill myself instead.
How can you Help Others?: Advise them to choose your puppy carefully.
Mistress’s State of Mind: My dream is dead, and I want to marinate in my misery.
My darling, I’m sorry, but Cemetery Mary is not about to let someone kill herself in the process of burying the dead dream. Messy and depressing (not that we’re afraid of those things, they must simply find a healing outlet.)If we must go a bit wild with grief, we prefer homicidal over suicidal fantasies. I am sorry Snoopy turned out to be a dog. I personally can’t stand these Liar Liar Pants on Fire types, and I’ve fallen for some BIG TIME. But oh my sister in pain, as you recover-and certainly you WILL, you MUST-go to a mirror and look deeply into your own lovely eyes. Were YOU perhaps lying to yourself when you believed a two-timing dog would or could be honest with you? Truth begins at home, my sister. Ask me how I know.
Instead of killing yourself, please, try something a little more productive. Choose an act that involves chocolate ice cream, hot baths and weekly massages by kind, muscular men. One that includes a wild bonfire burning Snoopy’s collar and cage, smashing his icky doggie dish. These rituals will set you free. If you must, write a longwinded, scathing expose about the mo fo and read excerpts at coffee houses in his neighborhood.
Tell yourself the truth, and the truth will return to you often and quite gratefully. What is the truth? You deserve better. From yourself.
Rest in peace, love, and joy (when you are ready),
PS: Please go to my site and download the article Grieve With Gusto on the Media Page. None of the options are suicide. Okay?
SHOULD EDMOND GIVE UP ON LOVE?
Dead Dream: Love
Dream Category: Relationships/Marriages
Did You Give it Your Best Shot?: Yes
Cause of Death: Lack of interest
Eulogy: I would have made a good husband. I like to cook, often pick up my pants from the living room floor and I do my own laundry. I’m an awesome kisser and know how to hold hands. But alas, I think a loving relationship is going to skip me in this lifetime. So long, love. It would have been nice to have someone to whisper “Happy New Year” to each year in bed.
Three Things Gained: Time spent in reflection, more time for watching Stargage (ugh) and you know, more time.
Help Others: There is a certain solace in giving up on love.
State of Mind: My dream is dead, but I’m willing to move on.
Giving up on love? Cemetery Mary is writing back to tell you that it’s okay to let go of having love just the way you imagined it “should” be, especially if you’ve pinned it to a certain person. But a good kisser who picks up his pants must at least keep an open heart to the surprises in life. I’ll except this as a temporary burial for now. Maybe you just need to take a little break from thinking about love looking the way it does in movies and magazines. Right now, have a wild love affair with yourself, Edmond. You deserve it! Love begins and ends with self so spoil your sweet self-rotten. You’re the one you’ve been waiting for! Only listen to your kind thoughts, laugh at your own jokes, treat your body with tenderness, movement, good food, and hot baths. (Make sure you wash well, dress nattily, and groom your gorgeous self during this courtship, you will better turn yourself on.) And only do things that LIFT your spirits. If watching Stargage makes you say (ugh), for the love of god man, change the channel. In fact, go outside and stargaze. Preferably at an event at a local observatory with other humans.
If you find yourself tripping at times into a pool of loneliness, crawl on out and go help somebody else. (Dear Abby swears by this.) I have a good feeling about your future in the world of love. So I can’t allow that dead dream a permanent marker in my cemetery just now. Instead, just bury any obstacles that may get in the way of finding the love that is already inside you to give. (And of course discovering what those obstacles are…that is life’s journey.)
And yes, I received your note explaining that you are not a loser, and that you have plenty of love and friendships in your life. Just so you and everyone knows, Cemetery Mary does not believe in “losers.” Did you read my bio? How could I?
Rest in peace, love, and joyous expectancy,